♡ 26.12.21 A ♡
hehe...... thinking about how cute it would be to take pictures of him with my new camera ♡
i'd really like to get close... but i doubt he'd be very warm to that
hehe...
i'd have to take longshot, which this might be good for!! at least, compared to my phone
the grainy aspect of my current pictures are such a buzzkill. i want to see his every nuance and be able to worship him properly
i'm so sick of having to rely on pictures he sent to the school server
i want him to be mine, mine, MINE
he should belong to me ♡
i want to be his too
wouldn't that be cute?
us entrapping each other dearly
that would be so nice...
i wish he wasn't so afraid to be open
perhaps it's better, since he might be resistant towards others too
but it would mean more when he does open up to someone else
i'd hate that
i want it to be me
i want to be his everything
i want to be his safe place
nobody else can be that for him
they'll hurt him
they don't love him like i do
they aren't devoted
i want to hurt them
they're tainting him, taking him further away from me
he used to like me
but now things are becoming estranged
i want him back
i'm so angry
don't take him away from me
don't do this to me
i can't take it
he's mine
he's my everything
even if i can't have him
i'll be his forever
i'll be dedicated to him
i'll do whatever it takes for him to be happy
but i'll never be able to leave him alone
of course, i mean that in a thought-oriented sense. he is my deity, the divine, he is the centre of it all. i could never leave him to be unappreciated. he should be adored. i don't want others to see him, but they should understand he is above them. he may not be the "best" person but he is divinity itself. i couldn't dare approach him on my own. i am honoured that he has approached me, that he has called me his friend. i want to be his centre too, i want him to dedicate energy, create an altar, anything in attempt. i am honoured, and i will honour him too. i will take on whatever i must to show him his worth
how is he unaware of his beauty? he is perfectly placed into my world, within my reach. i will follow him throughout my ways. i am going to become someone he can enjoy being around again. i don't know what happened. i will get him to return. i don't care about anything else anymore. i love him. i love him more than myself. he is my everything
be mine, love, and i'll be yours undeniably. i'll be whatever you ask me to be, i'll entrust myself to you. you are my divine, and i will be your loyal underling forever.
i don't care that i hate you. i love you to no end. you make me angry with what you do, but i have to forgive you. you are too important to be dismissed for your mistakes. let your friends go, and we can become one. then we can be happy together. i'll do everything for you then, i'll do everything to get them out of the way. i want you to become mine.
beloved, i can't regret you. you've hurt me by turning away, laughing and smiling towards others. you've become so distant. come back and i'll remind you. i'll remind you of everything we had, the way you were once kind. be someone to protect me from the world, as you once were. i'm so upset that you left and let me get bruised this way, that you've gone astray. i can't live like this, lovely, i can't survive on my own with my weakness. you're my divine, so why did you betray me?