♡ 08.12.21 B ♡
i accidentally sliced my finger on the blade rowan returned to me. he used to threaten to dull my blades, but it doesn't seem he ever did. i wonder why that is. it's definitely the same blade. it seems sharper if anything. did he really hide it or did he hold onto it? did it ever mean anything to him? did he only return it because i said i regret asking him to take my blades? if so, why didn't he give me the knife back? is it because he knows the association it has? is he unaware that i meant it when i wanted to bury it, and the fact that it's been in his possession long enough for the sentiment to change? the blade he gave back was always strictly my sh blade. i found it by the river and it's been a negative signal since. when he gave it back i didn't view it the same at all. it's like a genuine gift from him, but more personal. a sign of trust, perhaps? probably not, but i'd like to hope it had an intention.