♡ 07.12.21 G ♡
i forgot how tall he was.
the first thing he said was that my friendship is not a test run by any means, and that he just has his own mental issues going on. he then said he has no idea why i sent what i did, so he's just going to pretend i didn't. turns out he called me a test run as a socially awkward joke, but he didn't mean it.
"i got you."
he gave me my blade back, too. "oh, i've got your necklace blade thing if you want it back."
i hesitated, so he emphasized the if.
he touched my arm, patted, the way he used to. he said he had to go. "well, im going to go trip balls for about 30 min, so i'll see you."
i almost cried. i almost broke down. i got to see him and he affirmed me. i love him so much
i love you i love you i love love love you
ALSO i feel bad for trying to follow him now
i had some sights on him but he's a bit ahead now, and i can't scare him away now. at least he knows im mentally unstable.
he asked how i was. i deflected at first. he insisted. "i'm not okay". he understands. i love him so much. i miss him. i wanted to ask him to stay with me forever, but i was too stunned to speak. i love him.
why can't i stop following him? i'll blame my phone if i bump into him. i'm so distracted by writing that i barely kept track of him. i live this way too so maybe it's okay. i hope he doesn't notice.