okay okay okay okay

so i finally messaged him back and i got to the street boarder of school and he was there

he said hi and i froze and i panicked and got scared

he seemed confused and all when i stopped crossing the road "i was just saying hi"

he was walking with a girl and apparently they were following the group that had just passed me "why do y'all walk so fast" and all

it reminded me of when he said that to me too

im so upset

he walked past he walked past he walked past and didnt look back even though i thought i was going to collapse into the road and die there and i wanted to get hit i wanted to get hit i wanted to get hit i wanted to get hit

and i wanted him to stay

i didnt know what to do

i never do

have a good break?? you too?? yeah okay right great fantastic im ecstatic

i still want to die i want to cut i need to find my bracelets

why am i so afraid of him and why do our paths intersect at the worst times

i dont know i dont know i dont know please just leave me alone

but dont go

i need you to stay

i cant die until i give you this gift

the necklace

i guess the bracelets are gone

they're not here and i cant visit campus again

break's started now so it'll be forever until i'm there again

someone might've picked them up or thrown them out

i don't really know how to feel

i never really used them so i guess it doesn't matter but it still sucks

MAGPIES ARE EVERYWHERE TODAY AND IM GOIMG TO CRY I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE PLEASE JUST STOP TELLING ME YOUR CONTRADICTIONS

i know you don't know how to care

it's okay

i cant force you to

it hurts but you should be free to do your own things too

i shouldn't like you anyway

i do but i dont want to

so i'll work on being better

but why did you act like everything was okay?

i know i worried you

why weren't you mad?

OH NO WHAT IF HE THINKS I SENT THE MESSAGES AFTER I SAW HIM RATHER THAN BEFORE

was it because you were surrounded?

do you always have to be so casually friendly?

what happened to the garden?

is it just because of convenience or did i really mess up that much?