♡ 14.05.21 ♡
you helped [emma] get a cube mask, but [rowan] kind of hovered around you initially because he thought cow club was after school instead of during lunch. it was revealed not soon after that he also planned on walking home with you, as “he didn’t have anything else to do”. so he followed you and [emma] around until [emma] went her own way home. you ended up in a discussion initially with [adam] and [james], but changing to [james], [drew], [rose], [vivianne], [rowan], and you. eventually everyone dispersed but [rowan] stuck with you. [chris] and [ryan] were at the hospital park across the street and [rowan] tried confirming wether or not you wanted to stay or go, with or without him. you both stayed for a bit but you kind of stayed out of it, with [chris] occasionally including you in activities. mostly catch with a football. at one point [rowan] gave you his phone to call your dad. “i don’t want an angry man on a scooter after me.“ once [chris] and [ryan] started getting more into the skateboard than football, [rowan] and you became less included. you sat by the tables with a bit of anxiety building up and while [rowan] lay on the slide, he asked if you were doing alright. you signed so-so. you went to putting your hands in your knees and [rowan] decided to approach you, kneeling, and asked if you wanted to stay or go. in the end, you two headed home together. he called out to [chris] and [ryan] to let them know he was heading out, and asked you again if everything was alright. when you communicated you were anxious, he said he’d listen to any of your concerns. you walked home with him in silence, occasionally broken by him saying something you couldn’t hear well. the first statement sounded something alike “i hope you feel better soon.” you didn’t respond. after the second or third statement, you let him know you had trouble hearing him. he said he’d speak louder. you found a lavender bush and excitedly approached it, announcing your discovery. [rowan] tried smelling it, “i can’t smell anything.” you took your mask off in attempt to smell the lavender, and after a minimal whiff you turned back to him. he’d thrown the lavender he picked to the ground and announced it tasted weird. you passed forest and he asked if you missed a turn. after explaining you don’t always make that turn and asking if it bothered him, he said he understood and it was fine. you decided to ask if you bothered him. “no, i think you’re splendid. why would you think that?” “i don’t know.” he imitated the question back, “do i make you uncomfortable?” “rarely. most of the time i’m comfortable around you but sometimes you make an off comment.” he called back to the time you asked him not to make the bouncing bodies joke. you tried clarifying that you don’t have issue with death jokes, but rather that specific joke because it has associations. this time around, you asked him if he wanted to head home or stay with you in the garden. he ultimately decided to stay with you, and you talked about your anxiety as well as his relationship with his parents, specifically mother. it started sprinkling, and you mentioned this to him. he asked if you had a rain jacket, to which you responded no. he offered you his. at one point, he asked if he scared you. you explained to him that he didn’t scare you or make you uncomfortable, but he often approached you when you were already anxious and you struggle with knowing how to respond, which could come off as being afraid. there were two dogs who occasionally interrupted you, as [rowan] would chase after them. there was an old lady in the garden who was being aggressive and unwelcoming, so you offered to go to the park. [rowan] agreed, and asked if it was the one on [main street]. being two streets off, you walked to the [other] street park together. on the way, you mentioned it was bright and he took out a sun hat and put it on you. you both laid in the grass together, and you occasionally got up for your camera and melatonin. it was peaceful, and you almost fell asleep. [rowan] himself got up because of that. he had fallen asleep. for awhile you sat together, you facing him and him facing your left. at one point you put your head forward and he commented on all the dandelion seeds in your hair. eventually you both got up and from that point on it was a bit chaotic. you kept getting really close to each other, putting hands on each other’s arms and shoulders, occasionally heads. he kept saying he had to go, but he was “passive to a fault” and felt bad for either “leaving and offending you or telling you to eff off”. you started getting a bit anxious and hit your head a few times before going over to a tree and placing your head against it. he came over anxiously and asked you not to hit your head on the tree, and made sure you were okay. after you were proven fine, he started picking at the tree while talking to you. you grabbed his hand when he was staring to say something seemingly important, but he stopped talking and then focused on what you grabbed his hand for. asking him what he was going to say had no effect, so all you could say was “no more tree for you”. he then did his best to touch the tree, and you did your best to stay between him and the tree. this ended up in a couple of odd situations . you two somehow ended up in a hug, and he seemed a bit perplexed. you explained that it wasn’t intentional, and that it just happened. “that was a a solid hug but that was a bit awkward”. you also ended up falling onto your back in defense of the tree. [rowan] claimed that you pushed him and fell over, but you distinctly felt an arm pushing you across the chest. a bit later, you did two cartwheels, neither landing, while [rowan] did one hurtle at the ground. with your flannel off, your pale arms were exposed and he couldn’t help but point it out, so you two compared arms again. “i’m also redder than you.” somehow he ended up grabbing your hand, and he continued to grip it in different ways as he assessed how cold they were. “i don’t appreciate this,” he said in reference to the coldness of your hands. you responded by saying “you can’t just grab by hand, say ‘this is awful,’ and generally complain.” “i didn’t say it was awful. if anything, this is a great skin care routine. your hands are a lot less rough than mine” he said, rubbing your hand and his together to prove the difference in roughness. at one point, [rowan] asked you to push with full force onto one of his shoulders. he collapsed. “that’s just how my bones are”. he then bet he could pick you up, and he did. “you’re surprisingly light, but i guess that makes sense”. he then decided he might be able to give you a piggy back ride. he asked if it was okay with you, and upon confirming, crouched down to let you up. he then, mostly successfully, gave you a piggy back ride. the most issue was you being able to find good grip, because both his underarms and neck were extremely ticklish, to the point where he bent over laughing. you two were able to settle on you crossing your arms over his chest, and although it was straining for you, it was fun. after a while he let you down. for a while you two stood together, waiting for the other to leave. every once in a while he would say, “well, we’re both still here.” one time, when he was about to finally leave, you snatched his bag off his shoulder and started walking home. so he wrapped his arm around you and said “this is mine, then” and started walking in his direction. he tried taking his bag from you while walking. somehow he claimed you again, but this time he tried swinging you around to face your direction, but you gripped onto his waist while doing so, causing him to collapse. “i didn’t expect you to grow claws. you grew talons” (this was slightly ironic, because you clipped your nails very recently.) after getting up, he did ask if it made you uncomfortable when he “grabbed” (claimed?) you. while trying to say bye, [rowan] put his hand on your arm and you reciprocated. “you’re like a effing cat. you keep grabbing onto me every time i try to leave. ‘leave, no wait, don’t,’x500” /lh